That person you will see in every lecture

As an avid observer, I have discovered a pattern that exists in every class I have ever taken. People are creatures of habit, and even though we are all unique individuals, there are many people out there who are extremely similar in the way they approach learning. With that in mind, here are some of the people you might have seen in your classes.

Congratulations if you have made the list.

That really opinionated person who argues with the lecturer. In a world where our self-obsession has grown, perhaps because of the negative attributes of our social media profiles, there will always be that one student who argues with a lecturer for absolutely no reason. I really appreciate another person’s opinion, and I’m encouraging all of you to share your thoughts in a lecture. However, I speak for everybody when I say this; If you want to have an argument with a lecturer during class time… please be considerate enough to alert us before hand so we can bring popcorn. Or, so we can just not show up.

That person who lurks outside the door of the theatre for the code If you are that person who is always on the last seconds heading to your lecture, you will be familiar with the students who loiter outside the window, waiting for the lecturer to post the attendance code. It’s kind of intriguing actually.… to see these people who can’t be bothered going to a lecture be simultaneously more on time for the lecture than you. The world doesn’t make sense.

That person who drapes their long hair all over your desk I speak for the entire population of short haired people when I say this; BRING A HAIR TIE! I don’t need anybody’s hair particles floating on my copy. Don't bother with that last pint. Put the cash towards some good quality hair grips instead. When in doubt, the college sells elastic bands that will make do until you pop to the shops for some scrunchies.

That person who was out last night and is hungover as heck Generally, a pale face against a tan stained neck, or some deep dark circles under one’s eyes are a dead giveaway that this person is absolutely dying for some coffee and a nap. We are all human, and for many, having a late night in college is a frequent occurrence. If any of you can-collegers have been this person, or maybe you are this person right now… I want you to know that we applaud you for turning up. Don’t worry, the well-rested people don’t know what’s going on in the class either.

That group of people who sit in the middle and whisper…. LOUDLY Some people find the sound of nails on a chalkboard intolerable. For me, it’s the deafening whispers emanating from that group of friends in the middle of lecture theatre, who have clearly never played Chinese whispers. For goodness’ sake people! If you are going to talk through the entire lecture, at least practice your indoor voice. Or just go sit in Smokey’s instead.

That person who sits at the back just to charge their phone As a generation who are borderline obsessed with technology, and spend our lives enthralled in the highs and lows of social media, we have all experienced that sinking feeling that occurs when your phone dies. It often happens in the middle of a lecture when your secret Instagram stalking under your desk becomes too much for your battery to take. I strongly relate to those people who sit at the back of the lecture halls where a few sneaky charging points are installed. In fact, I am one of them.

That person who listens to Netflix with their headphones in I have no problem with people watching Netflix. In fact, I am an advocate for a good ole Netflix binge. However, to all of you out there who sit in a lecture watching Friends with your headphones in, I ask you this. Why don’t you chill somewhere else with your laptop? I can guarantee that the droning tones of a lecturer’s voice are not adding anything to your viewing experience. Take yourself home. Jennifer Aniston deserves better.

That one lecture-buddy who makes the entire thing tolerable George had Lennie; Spartacus had Stephanie. And us? We have that one friend who makes coming to college worthwhile. Whether they let you steal their notes, or they love having a silent giggle with you at the back, these type of college students are arguably the best out there.

And finally...

That person who was out last night and didn’t make it in Here, can-collegers, is where we share a collective thought for our college friends who didn’t make it in to their lecture today. We are thinking of you. You can take our notes when we do the same thing as you tomorrow.

Mind yourself.